One of the leading causes of divorce is financial issues. In a new relationship, you and your partner might not be ready to jump into the tough, uncomfortable feelings that can arise when you start talking about money. However, in order to truly merge your lives, you’ll have to have conversations about finances.
There are ways to do discuss the topic, while keeping the connection in your relationship. Here are five tips on how to have conversations about finances without extra stress or drama.
Know Your Money Story
Financial specialist Jamilah McCluney describes a money story as the subconscious beliefs and practices around money that plays out in your life. These money stories begin during early childhood as people watch their parents manage their own money. It follows through to adulthood to how people operate their finances. When you sit down to have conversations about your finances, make sure you tell them where your thoughts and beliefs about money come from.
Be Honest
Don’t try to hide the truth about your financial situation. If your credit is messed up, tell them why. If you’ve depleted your savings or never had one to begin with, say that. It might be really embarrassing. However, a moment of embarrassment is better than looking like a liar when the truth comes to light.
Set Goals
These honest conversations about finances can build intimacy and trust with your partner. When you discuss your money matters, be sure to include some future planning. Are you both saving for a big purchase? Do you want to collectively improve your credit? Are you trying to get out of debt? Talk about it.
Learn from Your Partner
Instead of trying to change your partner to be more like you or see the world in the ways you do when it comes to finances, be open to learning. Do they handle their money in a way you’d like to emulate? Instead of feeling shame that you’re not like them, see what tips and tricks you can implement in your own financial life.
Keep Talking
Similar to most hard talks, conversations about finances are not a one-shot deal. Life changes and so does money. You’ll have to have these conversations multiple time. It doesn’t hurt to get comfortable having these chats.