Being ghosted is becoming more common in the online dating world. However, when a longtime friend ghosts you, the impact stings differently.
Ghosting is the end of a personal relationship that typically happens unexpectedly. It involves the abrupt stop in all forms of communication and manifests itself as if the connection didn’t exist between the individual or collective group. As ghosting becomes more prevalent in today’s culture, more people have been vocal about their experiences with being ghosted by a close friend.
In a series of tweets, Khadijah Robinson shared her experience. Her close friend of 20 years ghosted her, shortly after being the maid of honor in her wedding. She said that the two had been best friends since elementary school. They remained tight-knit until adulthood and appeared inseparable.
Before her friend ghosted her, Robinson explained that she was going through a horrendous breakup. She and her ex were planning to buy a home together, but she ended the relationship after two years. Around that time, Robinson’s friend called her and asked her to be her maid of honor. Robinson, who was in the midst of a heartbreak, accepted the honor. Two weeks before closing on her home, Robinson’s friend asked to borrow money from her. Robinson gave her a few thousand dollars; however, that was the last time they spoke until 2020.
While this is an extreme case of ghosting, the cutoff in communication remains the common denominator. It’s never easy to lose a friend so suddenly. However, if you ever find yourself in that position, there are ways to navigate that unfortunate situation.
Psychologist and friendship expert Marisa Franco told Business Insider that it is important to grieve in a healthy way. She urges people to express their feelings toward the situation. Franco explained that the “rebound effect” is more common in friendships with those who choose to hold in their feelings.
“When we try to suppress something, it comes back stronger,” Franco said. “Your feelings have to be felt for them to pass.” the outlet.
There also are limits to what people can handle while enduring personal challenges. As a result, people set limitations on how they choose to show up in friendships. According to a professor of psychology and friendship researcher Mahzad Hojjat people tend to be unaware of the unresolved issues that their friends are facing.
“We should always consider that there might be another reason they are acting the way they are that has nothing to do with us,” she said in an interview with Oprah Daily.
While it doesn’t excuse their behavior, Hojjat emphasizes that keeping that in mind helps throughout the grieving process.
It’s important to recognize that friendships grow and evolve as life goes on. A person who was once a close childhood friend may not be as close during adulthood. Understanding that there are seasons for everyone and everything helps to make the loss more manageable.