Throughout our childhoods, we can easily pin moments where family members would share with us certain superstitions. Some southern superstition staples include: “Don’t put your purse on the ground or you’ll run out of money” or “Don’t walk under a ladder because it’s bad luck”. Within the “logic” of these superstitious theories, purses shouldn’t be on the floor, not because it’s unsanitary, but because it’s fiscally irresponsible. And walking under a ladder or splitting a pole isn’t about the potential danger it poses, but the luck lost.
The fears that we’ve developed around these theories not only affect where we place our belongings and how we walk down the street, but the duration of our relationships. The shoe theory is said to impact how and possibly when a person will leave their partner. Wondering what TikTok’s recent obsession with the “shoe theory” actually means and how it could show up in your life? Let’s break this down…step-by-step.
Where The Shoe Theory Came From
According to TikTokers who believe in the shoe theory superstition, gifting a partner a pair of shoes has and will always cause them to walk away. Content creators are now sharing stories of relationships cut short after giving shoes to their former partners. In opposition to these shoe theorists are the content creators who believe that if giving your partner a pair of shoes caused them to leave, then the relationship was alread on its way out.
People leave relationships for a variety of reasons whether it’s stagnancy, disinterest, unhappiness, etc. A superstition may or may not have the capacity to push an on-the-rocks relationship over the edge. However, if this gesture is received as motivation to exit the partnership, the underlying reason is not the shoes.
The Theory Is A Reminder To Communicate
Few things rattle a relationship like theories. Not to say that we should solely rely on what we can see because a connection in itself is technically invisible, but allowing it to determine the fate of a relationship can have a lasting impact. The shoe theory says that if you buy your partner a pair of shoes, then they’ll walk out of your life, but gift-giving in itself can be pretty tricky. If it’s early days in your relationship, a big gift (high in cost or deep in meaning), could set a more committed tone than intended. And, if you’ve been going steady for a while, a small gift (low in cost or sentimental value) could come across as uninvested. Shoes are one of those gifts that walk the tightrope. If you’re someone who spends a lot of time on their feet and you receive shoes as a gift, it could be an indicator of that partner’s awareness and attention to detail.
Whether you believe the superstition or not, its relevance is worth discussing. How happy are we in our relationships if shoes have the power to make or break them? Are we materialistic? Does the cost or sentimental value of gifts matter? All valid inquiries. If those questions are hitting a little close to home, take your curiosities to TikTok. The stories associated with this theory and others may answer some of your questions for you. Ultimately, saying how you feel and communicating with your partner is the best step in the right direction- shoes or no shoes.